wedding rings follow up

It’s been mentioned several times that men should be included in the band wearing if it is going to happen. I completely agree. I didn’t mean to distinguish between the sexes, just wrote from my point of view. I noticed that the pastor did not wear a band, either. So if I was a female, I would have written about that. Probably twenty years ago, males wouldn’t need to worry about wearing a ring but in today’s world, I know that it is the very first thing girls check for on attractive guys. And yes, I know this. Girls have told me they do and I’ve watched them do it. (And yes, I know there are exceptions that don’t.)

Another thing mentioned was the difference between a simple band and fancy rings. This brings up another thing that I find interesting in regard to engagement rings. Wedding rings are usually just bands, it’s the engagement rings that carry the fancy jewels and heavy price. A while back I read an insightful article in The Antlantic by Jay Epstein, Have You Ever Tried to Sell a Diamond? To help put this in context, N. W. Ayer was a leading advertising agency in the United States.

Toward the end of the 1950s, N. W. Ayer reported to De Beers that twenty years of advertisements and publicity had had a pronounced effect on the American psyche. “Since 1939 an entirely new generation of young people has grown to marriageable age,” it said. “To this new generation a diamond ring is considered a necessity to engagements by virtually everyone.” The message had been so successfully impressed on the minds of this generation that those who could not afford to buy a diamond at the time of their marriage would “defer the purchase” rather than forgo it.

The article is rather long, but a very good look at how our society and others have been socially engineered without our knowledge. This presents an interesting dilemma to Christian young people today. I believe, now, that it is irresponsible to purchase beyond what you can afford. I was just as brainwashed as everyone else when I was searching for a ring several years ago. I didn’t spend more than I could afford, however, and I’m pretty sure that I disappointed my fiancé when she didn’t have a diamond to show off to her friends. They did an excellent job brainwashing us. Girls grow up waiting for their diamond ring to show off and when it comes time to get it, the guys don’t want to disappoint, so they know that an expensive ring is required.

Now back to why this is an interesting dilemma. First, they have to fight against a way of thinking that they’ve been successfully manipulated into believing since childhood and the pressure of their peers. Second, it is wrapped up in the emotions that come along with engagement/marriage. I think this is definitely hardest for girls. How does she explain why she doesn’t have a fancy a ring to her girlfriends without coming off as holier-than-thou? How does she fight the disappointment she feels even though she knows it isn’t important to have $500+ on her finger, especially when her friends show her their expensive rings? Now I know that not all girls will have these issues, I’m not that dumb, but many will.

Well, I’ve spent more than two hours writing this, so I think that will do it. It will be interesting to hear your comments on this. If you get a chance to read the article, it isn’t for the faint of heart, but it is excellent.

cheers!