It’s been mentioned several times that men should be included in the band wearing if it is going to happen. I completely agree. I didn’t mean to distinguish between the sexes, just wrote from my point of view. I noticed that the pastor did not wear a band, either. So if I was a female, I would have written about that. Probably twenty years ago, males wouldn’t need to worry about wearing a ring but in today’s world, I know that it is the very first thing girls check for on attractive guys. And yes, I know this. Girls have told me they do and I’ve watched them do it. (And yes, I know there are exceptions that don’t.)
Another thing mentioned was the difference between a simple band and fancy rings. This brings up another thing that I find interesting in regard to engagement rings. Wedding rings are usually just bands, it’s the engagement rings that carry the fancy jewels and heavy price. A while back I read an insightful article in The Antlantic by Jay Epstein, Have You Ever Tried to Sell a Diamond? To help put this in context, N. W. Ayer was a leading advertising agency in the United States.
Toward the end of the 1950s, N. W. Ayer reported to De Beers that twenty years of advertisements and publicity had had a pronounced effect on the American psyche. “Since 1939 an entirely new generation of young people has grown to marriageable age,” it said. “To this new generation a diamond ring is considered a necessity to engagements by virtually everyone.” The message had been so successfully impressed on the minds of this generation that those who could not afford to buy a diamond at the time of their marriage would “defer the purchase” rather than forgo it.
The article is rather long, but a very good look at how our society and others have been socially engineered without our knowledge. This presents an interesting dilemma to Christian young people today. I believe, now, that it is irresponsible to purchase beyond what you can afford. I was just as brainwashed as everyone else when I was searching for a ring several years ago. I didn’t spend more than I could afford, however, and I’m pretty sure that I disappointed my fiancé when she didn’t have a diamond to show off to her friends. They did an excellent job brainwashing us. Girls grow up waiting for their diamond ring to show off and when it comes time to get it, the guys don’t want to disappoint, so they know that an expensive ring is required.
Now back to why this is an interesting dilemma. First, they have to fight against a way of thinking that they’ve been successfully manipulated into believing since childhood and the pressure of their peers. Second, it is wrapped up in the emotions that come along with engagement/marriage. I think this is definitely hardest for girls. How does she explain why she doesn’t have a fancy a ring to her girlfriends without coming off as holier-than-thou? How does she fight the disappointment she feels even though she knows it isn’t important to have $500+ on her finger, especially when her friends show her their expensive rings? Now I know that not all girls will have these issues, I’m not that dumb, but many will.
Well, I’ve spent more than two hours writing this, so I think that will do it. It will be interesting to hear your comments on this. If you get a chance to read the article, it isn’t for the faint of heart, but it is excellent.
cheers!
Leo my friend I think it is time for you to go to bed and just stop worrying about it. 😉 I also think that you have a valid point about being brainwashed into thinking a fancy shmancy ring is needed. I got luck, Olivia does not like the fancy rings…. Only fancy cars, and house, and clothes…. LOL Now the psychologist that I live with would tell me that you are writing this in an effort to attract a suitable female. JK
I agree with Ben, a suitable female, i would just add “who doesn’t like fancy rings” :p
I think i will love wearing a ring and my husband wearing it too.
Oh, and while it’s not needed, at least where i live, i definitely want a fancy ring.
Well done, Leo. That is really interesting history about the engagement ring and all its trimmings. I am all for the simple band for both husband and wife, and I think the ring ceremony is a beautiful conclusion to a wedding. But if it going to offend some people, which it may well do, probably best to be omitted. My pastor wears a wedding band and he has received a lot of flack about it, especially since he is on TV, but I think it is very appropriate.
A lot of one’s relationship to the opposite sex is simply said by body language, including the eyes. I am old-fashioned, I guess, but think that a lot of undo and inappropirate attention is attracted by the manner of dressing, flirtatious actions, etc. Again, I’ve probably said more than ‘nuf this time around.
It is very true about the brainwashing. I have a couple of girlfriends that believe it is required to wear a big diamond in engagement and even go so far as to make sure they have an all around diamond wedding band as well. As you know, I am no fan of lots of jewelery and I think it is rediculous to spend so much (especially if you can’t afford it) on one piece that, yes, may represent, but does NOT justify your love for someone. When I was married three years ago, my husband had proposed with his grandmother’s anniversary ring. To me, that was the most meaningful ring I will ever own, even though we are not together anymore. It was perfect all around and it didn’t cost him a single dime. It came from the heart and that is something that should be forced back into society nowadays. Tradition and family heirlooms are what mean the most; not dropping $5,000.00 on an engagement ring and bring yourself into debt before you even get married. Money can’t buy you love! Well, not me at least.