Today, I was doing some work at a church and there was a gal there about my age working. She was cute and I automatically checked to see if she had a ring on. She didn’t and I assumed she was single. Thankfully, we didn’t interact or it may have become awkward. It turns out that she is the pastor’s wife.
Just to make things clear, I am presenting this from a biased mind. I don’t have a problem with jewelry as many in my church do. I wear jewelry, but I don’t spend much money on it either. Actually, none in about a year and two before that. I say this just to be clear.
Now back to my illustration. This is nothing new in our society. About the time of the late 70’s, early 80’s, my mom had car trouble and a friendly stranger helped her out. He also asked her out and became very embarrassed when she told him that she was married. He was embarrassed because he didn’t want to be thought of as the type that hits on married women. Because of this, she got a wedding band. Even back then, a wedding band was a significant sign that you were not on the market, anymore.
Today, the same story could have occurred with me. Sure, I probably shouldn’t be asking a stranger on a date, but the point is that I expected to be able to tell if she was married. Why is it that some people still oppose the wearing of wedding bands, even in the younger generations? The only statement Ellen White, church founder, makes is that rings should not be discouraged from being worn in cultures where it is imperative. It has been imperative in this culture since the 80s!
My second argument for wedding rings comes from a friend that I’m living with right now. She mentioned that she wears the band so that people know they are married when they stay in hotels and the like. This speaks very true considering that it is imperative.
“Abstain from all appearance of evil.” – I Thessalonians 5:22
In today’s culture, if you don’t wear the band and are seen going to a hotel, it can be assumed that you do not care about abstinence. I guess you could avoid going to hotels, but it isn’t the hotel that is an issue. It is the fact that you don’t appear to be married.
Does the ring guarantee loyalty? No, but it is a symbol that you are not available anymore. My question to those married and not wearing a wedding band, “Why are you trying to hide that you are married?”
That’s my rant for the evening.
cheers!
p.s. I found the following article to be very enlightening. His conclusions make a lot of sense. I didn’t come to the exact same, but it is presented in a very well thought out and concise manner.
The Wedding Band, Ellen G. White, and the Seventh-day Adventist Church
[UPDATE:] Since I’ve been asked by multiple people; No! This did not happen in my home church.
I agree with you 100%! In fact, my mom actually started wearing one a few years ago when she went back to work and a couple people asked her out–which I find hard to believe, but that’s just me. =0) The funny thing is, I see a lot more older conservative Adventist women wearing wedding rings these days, I assume for the same reason as my mom, but most of their husbands are not. What’s up with that?
ok so im wondering are you in AG? … either way you are right more ladies should be wearing rings, although she may have one and choose not to wear it at church functions, seeing as how she is in a comfortable place, and has nothing to prove, because at times wedding rings can be a huge distractions at a church…
aw…lol. poor leo. well the good news is ther are cute christian girls. the bad news is they may already b taken. did u ask her out b4 u found out? wher was this? u kno, it happns to girls too. but i totally agree. wedding wings should b worn n ther is nothing wrong with it. now if u wear it to show off, then thats not cool but a ring is like..a commitment thing. it shows u “belong” to someone already n someone belongs to u.(not like property, but u understand.)
I just finished reading Roger Coon’s essay that you linked. As you stated, I think he did a good job of covering the field and his conclusions are non-judgmental and leave it to the individual. I think that is where it needs to be.
Grandpa and I never felt we needed rings. After all, when I became a mother and had kids trailing me, that was evidence enough [in those days]. But now, kids don’t mean a thing. And in the same context, a wedding ring doesn’t necessarily mean fidelity, and no ring doesn’t mean infidelity. So, where do we go from here. Each individual needs to weigh the situation and make the choice. It seems to me that a man’s wedding ring is just as important as a woman’s; if she’s “off limits” shouldn’t he also be “off limits”? I do believe that there is a significant difference between a simple band and the ornate jeweled rings which are much costlier, and eye-catching.We’d best not judge except ourselves. ‘nuf sed!
If a wedding ring is a distraction in church you have a lot more serious issues going on.
I was researching the same thing when I saw this.. I can not agree more – but I am still going to look for a better source
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Oh wow! Not really the one to chase 🙂
I totally agree with your statement on wearing jewelry. I never wear it, I’ve always a slogan buy houses 1 car watch my cash flow pile. But if you are married you should have you ring on if just to avoid confusion.
I AM A YOUNG WOMAN MARRIED IN AFRICA GHANA ITS NOW BECOME APPARENT WITHOUT THE RING YOU ARE CLASSIFIED OUTSIDE THE CHURCH AS UNMARRIED EVEN IN AFRICA. BUT THE CHURCH DOES FROWN ON IT,COS MY HUSBAND AND I DIDNT EXCHANGE OUR RINGS IN CHURCH WE DID IT IN A TAXI!LOL.I SINCERELY BELIEVE THE CHURCH SHOULD TAKE A STRONG STAND IT EITHER “IS” OR IT “ISNT”. NOW HE DOESNT WEAR IT ANYMORE COS HE SAYS MANY PEOPLE IN CHURCH DO NOT WEAR IT.WE ARE CONFUSED
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